Disappearing Act
by Spring Forest
Summary: With all the weight of decades of loss on her shoulders, Alanna the Lioness dreams and leaves it all behind to see it again.


She goes through the motions of sharpening her sword with an ingrained sense instilled by decades of practice. With a loving hand, Alanna the Lioness runs her hand down the length of... of... Dammit. She can't remember what she named this sword.

Well, it won't matter tomorrow on the battlefield, only that she fights in the name of the Goddess and Tortall. _Why did Jon send her out here again?_ she wonders, then realizes. Oh.

Oh. It wasn't Jon who sent her out here. He's dead. It wasn't Thayet either, because she's dead as well. Right now their son is on the throne- which son?- Liam- Alanna thinks- but maybe that's not it.

At least she recall her family. She can fight for them. Alan, the knight, so like her. Thom, the mage- he reminds her of another Thom. She doesn't quite know who, but Alanna knows she'll think of it soon.

An Aly. Her Aly. So like her Da, and the spymistress of the Copper Isles. One of Kyprioth's, just like her Da. Her Da. George.

George is dead too. Her stupid Gift couldn't keep away old age, couldn't save him. Who's fault is that?- Alanna wonders absently. Not Aly's, not Jon's, not...

Kel's still around though. In fact, she is going to fight alongside her soon. Or maybe she's fought with her recently? The Lioness isn't sure.

Regardless, Alanna and Kel have fought side-by-side many times before. Her and Kel and... What's Kel's husband's name again? Queenscove? Or the cousin, Dom-something? Wait, no, no, it's not Queenscove. He was her apprentice. She went to his wedding, to the Yamani lady.

Well, she won't be fighting next to _any _of them tomorrow. Not them, not Raoul, not Gary. Raoul and Gary are both too frail to fight. Either that or they're dead. She doesn't really know which, because she hasn't spoken to them in months.

Alanna does know that Buri and Numair are dead. And after her husband died, Daine went back to the Realm of the Gods to be with him. But that was a long time ago, almost... some years ago. It was Thom's birthday, she remembers, Thom-the-twin, not Thom-the-son.

Huh. She wonders how she remembered that when she can't even remember who's on the throne right now. No! Wait... It's on the tip of her tongue. She knows she can remember it! But...

Wow, her stomach feel kinda weird. Idly, she wonders if it's her digestive system acting up again, then looks down. Oh. Fuck. There's a sword sticking through her.

Slowly, Alanna (Alanna! That's who she is! Alanna the Lioess, of Trebond, of Olau, of Pirate's Swoop! Alanna!) turns and asks in a husky voice, "Who's there?"

An assassin in a black suit is being overlaid with an image of the robed Black God and... she squints. Is that Faithful?

"Faithul?" she whispers. Suddenly, Alanna feels better than she has in decades. In her mind, her memories sparkle with a new glow and order. Oh...

Yeah. But she's also bleeding. Touching a hand to her midriff, she pulls it away sticky with red blood. "Faithful?" she whispers. "Am I dying?"

He sniffs, with that same cat-dignity she can now remember and says, "Of course you are, silly girl. Letting a lowly assassin of all things get you, well..."

A smile spreads acrss her face, in a display that feels foreign to her body. Of _course_ it feels foreign to her body though, her body is old, years old. How many years old, she isn't sure (her memory isn't coming back _that_ fast) but old enough for arthritis and pure grey hair.

She turns her head towards Faithful, suddenly worried. "Will my soldiers be okay in the battle?" she demands.

"If they aren't, it's too late," the black cat replies tartly, "But yes, they will."

"Oh." Alanna breathes a sigh of relief. "Is everyone waiting for me?"

Faithful's voice is gentler now. "Yes. They are."

"Okay." She feels kinda light-headed now, and... different. Like she can still see the world through the eyes of the stubborn, short-tempered girl she used to be. "Okay. Visit me?"

"I think I will," she hears him say, and then the Black God is tugging on her hand. Alanna has left her old shell behind. She would feel disoriented, but she can't remember how it felt to be inside of that body anymore. How strange.

"It'll be nice to see everyone again," the Lioness, murmers one last time. Then she leaves for the next life to make it true.

Hey, it's Spring Forest. First of all, I do not own The Song of the Lioness series, Tamora Pierce does. Second of all, thanks to everyone who reviewed (Yay!) and told me about the typos I made. Thanks guys. I probably wouldn't ahve noticed without you- you just saved me from a _lot_ of embaressment.

Well, that's it.


End file.
